Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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