i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
