1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
