You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love you. Go after that dick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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