I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
