You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
