Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
