Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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