I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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