How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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