I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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