I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
