I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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