my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
