Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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