you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
