so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
