I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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