Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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