How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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