Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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