I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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