carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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