Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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