Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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