how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
True strength comes from lack of pants
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
