Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
