Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
