you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
