I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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