I'll bet she douches with gravy.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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