i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
