i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
