You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
