Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
