i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
