It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
