I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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