i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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