bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
