I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize