just come out here and I will go home with you...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
