If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
