we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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