Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
