you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
