Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
