Is it normal to miss your booty call?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
