normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
