Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
